MUMMERS! (part 1, daytime)

So I promised a whole bunch of people that I'd try to explain the Philadelphia Mummers Day Parade, and, frankly, this task has been stressing me out a bit.  There is something about the whole experience that seems completely indescribable to me.  It's unlike anything I've ever seen, and I don't think I have the vocabulary (written or visual) for it.

A lot of the intricacies of it are totally lost on me - I know a native Philadelphian could explain much better to you how the different brigades work and where their clubhouses are and what the costumes mean.  I can't do that.  What I can tell you is that some time in the mid-eighteenth-century, Mummers grabbed some instruments and costumes and played and performed at various houses for money.  And if you didn't pay up, they'd punch in your windows and stuff.  At some point in the 19th century the whole event ended up more structured, and became a parade that included all sorts of whimsical stuff like giant six-story cakes made of wood and live elephants in costume.  Lots of gun-firing into the sky, too, of course.  And there is a long history of sexism and racism woven into the spectacle -- even this year, I saw some cowboys and Indians nonsense that made my blood boil.

So this feels like the first field day for an anthropologist - everything new and confusing.  But here is what I've figured out, told by way of uncertain words and crappy photographs (disclaimer: I just got my first digital camera a few months ago.  I want it to work like an analog camera, but it won't.  This camera and I are new friends, the mixed results of which are shown here).

First of all, this Mummers Day business really separates the men from the boys.  It's on New Years Day, which means it follows the amateur night of amateur nights -- New Year's Eve.  The parade itself lasts seven hours, and is then followed by this wild gathering at night on 2 Street (note: not Second Street. 2 Street) where all the Mummers unwind and everyone else who's already been drinking all day keeps doing so.  Almost everyone I talked to had been drinking since 5pm on New Year's Eve and planned to sleep all day today.  I didn't drink a thing, but feel a little hung over by proxy.

The parade makes its way around Philadelphia -- slowly.  It consists of four different types of clubs - Comics, Fancies, String Bands, and Fancy Brigades - I don't know how many of each kind there are, but they all have these clubhouses (most on 2 Street) where they spend all year preparing costumes, rehearsing, building props, etc.  They compete for best performance, so everything is over the top and really elaborate.  These clubs are mostly men -- mostly white men, really.  So cross-dressing becomes a huge component of the humor.

Over the course of this seven-hour event, the clubs march along the parade route and stop at pre-determined intersections along the way, assemble their props, and perform.  The city sets up bleachers at some of these intersections, and the whole thing is super crowded -- full of [again, largely white] Philadelphians wearing silly hats and drinking beer out of cans.

I should say that I have no idea what Philadelphia's laws are about public drinking, but whatever they are, they get brushed under the carpet on New Year's Day.  There are beer cans everywhere - decorating dirty snow banks, hanging off discarded Christmas trees, all over the sidewalks and streets and gutters and windowsills and stoops.  I saw at least one 10 yr old pounding a Coors Lite.  There was lots of weed, too.  Cops everywhere but they seemed only present to break up fights and make sure nobody got hurt.  There were lots of arrests that could have been made but weren't.  Most people were walking around with huge duffel bags full of canned beer.  On 2 street in the evening, this included the Mummers.

Here is what I saw:

I started out at City Hall, but this was not the best move because it was where all the tourists go.  It was really crowded, and I couldn't get a good view of the performances.  But I did get some idea of what I was missing as I watched the props roll by:

This one seemed to be Russian-themed, because there were also some eggs:

And then there was this one:

Time out for Claes Oldenburg, who was also present for the parade:

Santa?

These ladies are fucking amazing:

Besides beer cans, there was silly string all over the place:

I'm pretty certain the Mummers single-handedly keep the glitter and feather factories in business.

Eventually we wanted to actually see these groups perform, so we headed south.  On our way we spotted a guy selling pretzels who was keeping them hot by burning coals in a grocery cart.  Seemed up to health code inspection to me.  He was really excited about showing off his genius contraption and having his picture taken:

Eventually we found a place by the University of the Arts where we could watch the performances.  Supposedly each performance has some sort of narrative thread.  I don't know that I knew what the fuck they were, but this one had something to do with railroads?

(side note: that guy in the Kangol hat was fucking hilarious)

This was followed by scary clowns:

(love the prop guy with the mouths so much)

Then there was some strange fruit-themed thing?  To which the Kangol hat guy responded: WE'VE SEEN THE FRUIT BEFORE, YA FOOLS.  LAST YEAR.  OR THE YEAR BEFORE:

Then a string band.  I'm not sure which one of those parasols I ended up with, but Alison totally salvaged one off 2 street sidewalk for me later:

Next: some 49ers:

[continued in next post]