A Random Assortment of Philadelphia Occurrences, May the 28th, 2011

1.
Overheard snippit of a conversation between a heavily-tattooed guy in his late 20s and his girlfriend:
Guy: Yeah, so, the thing about this tattoo (points to cobweb tattoo on left elbow) is that all these bitches keep getting them even when they haven't been in the slammer. Like the other day I saw this girl with one and I was like "Yo, where were you locked up?" and she says, "Huh?" And I say, "What prison were you at?" and I point to her tattoo. And she's like "Ummm, I wasn't in prison."  Let me tell you, that bitch is lucky nobody's walked right up to her after that answer and cut that tattoo right off her fucking arm.
[pause]
Oh hey, you want to go into H&M?

2.
Overheard conversation between two guys on the street near City Hall:
Guy 1: You know what? It's fucking beautiful outside today.
Guy 2: Yeah. But you know you've said that maybe a dozen times today already.
Guy 1: Well fuck you cuz I'm gonna say it at least 100 more times today. Because it's fucking GOOOORGEOUS out and I FUCKING LOVE PHILADELPHIA!!! WHO'S WITH ME HERE PEOPLE??

3.
Noticed, better late than never:
When you stand in the middle of the Parkway, you can see all the way from City Hall (Broad / 14th Street) clear to the Art Museum.

4.
Observed at Market and 9th (thereabouts):
A Ramones cover band set up - amps and all - and got through two great and extremely loud songs before some cops figured out they didn't have permits and shut their shit down.

5.
Observed at my house:
Two squirrels trying in vain to enter my neighbor's apartment through their cat door.

6.
I love this city.

Overheard: Penn Station, New York Edition

Two girls - who I am assuming to be American based on the absence of foreign accent.  And by "girls," I mean "college-age teenagers."

Girl 1 [looking at departure board]: Where is Chicago, anyways?  It's near Boston, right?
Girl 2 [looking pensive]: Yeah.
A moment passes.
Girl 2: No wait, no it's not.  It's totally in the South.  I think it's in Georgia?
Girl 1: Oh, cooool.

Snippets

Overheard today:

1.
At the museum, one guard to another: Yeah, and he had these black glasses, and a big afro, you know, and a tutu.

2.
Outside a bar, one twenty-something guy to another: Dude, I told you, bro. You need a Snuggie.  A MOTHERFUCKIN' SNUGGIE, DAWG.

3.
Inside another bar, one old man to another: I'm in it for the fries.  Most of us, we're in it for the beer.  Not me.  The beer is just the accessory for me.  It's the fries that matter.  Call me a fruitcake all you want -- I don't give a rat's ass.  The fries are the best part.